Do you ever wish you could have a do over.
I mean press pause in life, press rewind, bzzzzz, stop, record. Alright folks lets try this again. Only this time get it right!!!
Yep that would be me. Way to often.
Today was one of those days.
It started out pretty good, albeit tired as per normal.
I got up while Sarah was getting ready for school. Made my coffee and went into my office where I then did my bible study. Then Sarah took off to school and I enjoyed peace…for 3 seconds, until the dog realized she would have to do deal with me all day and demanded I play with her.
So I decided to throw some ingredients into my bread maker to make meat buns for Sarah’s lunch and then take the dog for a walk.
And walk we did for 5km. Oh I should also mention that today was the first really cool day of not summer (lol not fall yet, just not summer either :)) So it felt like +3C here with rain. But I knew the only way I would accomplish anything today was to get the dog tired enough to want to sleep.
I felt great after our walk. A bit chilled but thrilled that I got out there and didn’t just fight with the dog all day so I didn’t have to brave the chill.
When we got back it was time to make a batch of meat buns, after that I through another bunch of stuff into the bread maker and thought hey I really need to can those peaches before they spoil. So Pinterest I went.
Soon enough it was 3:15 and I had made two batches of meat buns, had a batch of cinnamon buns rising and had canned all my peaches. Dishes were also done and I was mentally congratulating myself.
Oops wrong move.
Within an hour I had lost it big time. I freaked out on the dog, freaked out on Sarah and basically lost all my marbles in a moment.
I then got supper cooking, grabbed a chocolate bar and went into my room to hide.
Yep that’s me.
I am a hider. I want to run away from issues.
All of the sudden (as I am hiding) Sarah starts yelling at the dog. Apparently she had gotten the now cooked and cooled cinnamon buns off the table and was quite happy munching away.
Well I admit I was still buzzed on my chocolate so I let it go. Told Sarah to clean it up and went back into my denial state.
10 minutes later it happened again.
How did I react this time?? Did I learn anything from my over reaction earlier??
Nope, I freaked again.
I know mean mom award here.
So now I sit here and contemplate what went wrong.
Now I could use some excuses…
Some are valid.
Sarah is 16 and more than capable of watching her dog so she doesn’t eat the cinnamon buns.
I am getting close to that certain visitor. (sorry to be bringing this one in, but ladies you know exactly what I mean when hormones are in play here)
Frankly I am tired.
All these are valid excuses. They help explain what compounded the issue. However they are not valid reasons for me to be able to do this.
I need to remember to give grace. Over and over and over again. Just as God gave and gives grace to me. Over and over and over again.
I need to remember that mistakes happen. That life is not easy. That I can’t control everything. I have to remember that I am not supposed to be in control. He is!!
I need to stop interfering with God’s amazing plan in my life.
I need to breathe.
I need to ask forgiveness.
And at the end of the day I need to lay it all at Jesus’s feet.
Because tomorrow is a new day, and I need to stop living in my mistakes and instead accept God’s grace.