Losing my Sky

As you know I’ve been on a journey to find a fitter me.

This journey has been helped along by this beautiful girl needing to get outside and walk lots and lots and lots. 🙂

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Well this past Wednesday was just one of those days. I didn’t want to go out. The cleanse was kicking my butt and the thought of walking anywhere was so far from my mind. However she makes it hard to refuse her.

So I went and changed into warmer clothes, put on my shoes, grabbed her leash and away we went.

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At first I thought I would only walk 3km, enough to make her happy and enough to get me out for a bit. So I turned on my fitness app to track the km’s and away we went. Well at 1km she was having such a ball I decided to make it 4 that day.

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That and a few other actions I will regret for a forever.

You see last Wednesday we lost our Skylar. About 100m away from our house she was struck by a vehicle and instantly passed.

I have a ton of what if’s and if only I had done this, or If I hadn’t done such and such. Such guilt I carry.

Last week we lost our very dear to us family member.

Our lives have changed very dramatically this past 6 days.

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The one very small silver lining in this past week is that my husband was unexpectedly coming home that day. (He wasn’t due home for another week, but was coming to surprise Sarah and I) He came home and took over. He lifted her and brought her home, he drove with me 2hrs later to pick up our girl from school and tell her that her baby was no longer with us, he dug the grave and placed her in. These are all things that I would have had to do by myself. I am so thankful that he was there.

I can’t even begin to explain how hard it is just to write these words and yet I know that many, many, many have it so much worse.

Many are abused. Many are abandoned. Many are sold, raped, enslaved.

Many are without their parents, their spouses, their children, their grandchildren.

Many are without work, food, a roof over their heads.

It humbles me to write this and know that this pain I feel, this ache I have, could be worse.

So each day I work on getting up, dusting myself off, remembering what a great puppy she was. Focus on that I am sure she is managing to finally catch all those ducks she tried so hard to catch this summer. 🙂

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Focus on being thankful.

And keeping her memory alive and with us always.

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