Tonight was Halloween, and I have to say that now that I have had a chance to sit back and chill, without being needed, I realize what a parenting fail I did tonight.
First quick background. This last few days have been crazy. This momma needs her sleep and it seems that no one has got that memo for the last couple of nights.
I was looking forward to today, as my teenager was home and I could catch a nap, but little butterball screamed if I was gone to long. So nap for me.
No nap for me, made me border line uber grumpy. I often struggle with patience levels anyway but with no sleep, oh boy…
I really didn’t want to do Halloween this year. Partly because hubby was gone and doing it without him is a big job, even though I did have the help of Sarah. Partly because I’m lazy. Lol Partly because Caroline does not do well at all on sugar and I knew that it was going to be interesting doing this.
But still I failed to take some notice of some things…
This was the first year I could take these beautiful girls out. At 4 yrs old Caroline really got the idea of it. Grace not so much, but hey free candy she was game. Hahaha
This is butterballs very first Halloween ever!!! And I was lucky enough to get to spend it with her!!!
This is Sarah’s last Halloween at home. Her last Halloween as a minor.
In failing to take notice of these things I failed to make this enjoyable.
I was super strict on make sure they had their manners.
I was super strict on only one candy tonight (although I will keep enforcing that one).
I was super tense and failed to pump them up and get them excited.
I, tonight, forgot in my exhaustion that sometimes I can get re-energized through the excitement and wonderment of my children.
I forgot that sometimes I just need to live in the moment.
I forgot that sometimes things happen and that’s the way life goes.
Tonight as I was reflecting on my thankful list for today I realized one of the really big things I’m thankful for is new beginnings.
Knowing that I can change how I choose to act and choose how to react to things happening around me.
I can choose make myself better and choose not to live in the past and not to live in regret.
So tomorrow I’m looking forward. Tomorrow I’m starting fresh and learning that sometimes I need to let us all live in the moment.
My heart overflows.