Choosing the hard

Last night I watched my husband say goodbye for the last time to our youngest foster  daughter. we have had her for 14 months since she was 1 month old. 

Hubby works away from home and our little butterball leaves next week to be with her forever family. 

Seeing his pain and knowing next week I will be saying goodbye forever is brutal. 

Knowing this sweetheart, whom we love with all our hearts, is about to leave the only family she has ever really known. Well that’s painfully wrenching. 

Knowing she’s going to forget about us and grow up in a loving home is a double edged sword. 

Yet through it all. In the deepest pits of my torn heart, I know we will keep doing this. We will keep choosing the pain. 

Why you may ask?

Well simply put, because it’s worth it.  

Fostering is hard. Their pain becomes yours. Their trauma becomes yours. 

There is always, ALWAYS, loss. in everything. 

Even in the good things. Like successful reunification or forever homes. 

The loss right now is ours.  Our families.  Our friends. Our sweet foster ( one day forever) daughters. Even our little butterball has to experience this loss. 

Yet in the end the gain is there. She will gain a family where she will never have to leave. She will gain comfort and eventually security. She will gain the love of a large extended family.  

So for that we will keep going. We will take some time to mourn our loss. To heal.  To reconnect and then we will pick ourselves up again. Dust off and start opening up out hearts to another. Another that is going through a tremendous loss themselves. 

With God’s help we will be healed so that we can help heal. 

Because there is no way in H E  double hockey sticks could we do this alone.

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